I am so sorry I haven’t written a blog in AGES. Totally useless of me I realise.
To be fair, I did write one in about September but it was so utterly miserable I couldn’t bring myself to post it. Having an HMRC AML audit, having to part ways with a client who then turns into a crazy person and THEN getting attacked by a swarm of wasps, all in the one week, can send even the most balanced woman into a tailspin of misery. And I have never professed to be that balanced! And in that week, the wasp attack was one of the least unpleasant things to deal with. If that gives you a clue how horrible the other two were. I’ll take 12 stings over 4 hours with two government officials camped out in my living room grilling me like a kipper.
I’m all over it now. As the song goes. HMRC have given me the stamp of approval (and reminded me why I have such a low opinion of so many civil servants), the client finally paid and went away and my standard wasp stings stopped itching and the infected one calmed down. The dogs have stopped twitching in fear every time a fly lands near them.
But this is the way of the freelancer. You’re up, you’re down faster than you have time to breathe or register where you are.
What is currently annoying me though is that I am on an up. I mean technically. If I described my current work circumstances to others they would define it as an upswing. For sure. Whopper new client, not just a huge amount of hours but they are totally lovely to boot. New one in the pipeline as well. One that I wanted to get shot of seems to have vanished of his own accord without me having to have a tricky conversation with him. Another has been handed over with love at the perfect time to a full-time employee and I love it when that happens (well, as long as I’m not wildly short on hours, then I am broke. But most times, it’s a great feeling). All good right?
Well yes. (note the lack of enthusiasm!). But where this takes me at present is into the land of “well outside my comfort zone”. It happens. I wrote a whole chapter on this in the book, as a freelancer and business owner, you no sooner get over one terrifying hurdle that feels beyond you and feel smug than another one launches itself at you like a big licky over-exuberant Labrador. And irrespective of whether it is good outside of comfort zone because there is expansion, new things to learn or new clients or bad outside of comfort zone because something has gone wrong and it is down to you to fix it. It all feels very much the same to live with. Uncomfortable.
Even as I moan about things going so well (ha! I mean, really? Get a grip woman) I know that this will pass. In a month or so I’ll have forgotten all about this and have something new to fret about. That is the way of it.
So today I wished for myself as I got up, a boring day. Dull. No drama. Nothing interesting even. Just dull, ploddy client work and some dull ploddy internal stuff. I’ll be really happy with that. Delighted even to have seriously boring work all day. And I remind myself that change is good.