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Have yourself a freelance little Christmas

Christmas is a-coming. Apparently! It’s a funny old time of year for freelancers. I remember my first Christmas as a self-employed person, one of my clients was heading off to the staff “do” after our call and as I put the phone down I felt completely deflated. “Hang on a cotton-picking minute. When’s MY Christmas do? I’ve been robbed here! Where’s my turkey dinner, itchy jumper and excess of cheap house wine?” That first year, my non-existent Christmas party was on a par with a previous job where our Christmas “do” consisted of my boss getting us Turkey and stuffing sandwiches from Tesco to eat at our desks. I shit you not! He didn’t even get the bloody meal deal. Some clients do invite yo

A seagull has pushed me over the edge...

As I once said to a colleague about another colleague having heard she'd resigned "I always thought it'd be the mussels that pushed her over the edge, and yet it was the queenies that did it". I'm not crazy, we worked for a shellfish company. Chucking your toys out of the pram because of an obscure mollusc or bi-valve was all in a day’s work at this place, my bête noir tended to be langoustine. I was the export sales department (yes, all of it!) and we used to export them live and the little gits frequently used to kill each other en route. Which led to many French and Italian people ringing me in some distress. Random jobs we’ve known and loved... But today, there’s no shellfish, it's the


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