The Alternative Dry January

Are you one of these smug bastards doing Dry January? Or Vegan-aury or some such thing? No? Me either. I’m more likely to get in on Movember and grow a tache than I am to forsake a tipple for 31 days at this time of year! Isn’t January an awful enough month without having to give up the booze as well? At least I no longer smoke so I don’t have that “should” guilt hanging over me as well.

It’s cold, it’s dark, it’s rainy. We all have to drag ourselves back to work after a couple of weeks of doing not a busting lot and contemplate the hideous length of time between now and when we next get some kind of a break and preferably some sunshine.

Everyone feels guilty about the obscene amount of mince pies, pigs in blankets and cheese that they have scoffed over the festive period so are embarking on a mission to embrace healthy eating and joining the gym. We all know in our hearts that winter is really for hibernation and we should be much more like bears - eat everything in sight for a month then retreat to bed until the weather perks up a bit. And yet now is the moment in the year we pick to start embracing salads, kale and lean proteins. It’s an unnatural madness.

And resolutions. Have you made any? I don’t anymore. Or at least not ones that are going to cause me guilt and angst when two weeks later I lose the will. My best ever New Years Resolution I am still doing three years later. It is simple: “all black socks shall henceforth be matched with any other black (or previously black) socks even if technically they aren’t a pair”. Hours saved of agonising over a shade of grey fadedness or a slightly softer cotton or higher seam. Sod it. Who looks at my feet for that long anyway? Time saved, mental anguish avoided. That’s my kind of resolution.

If I have any, I have made a vague suggestion to myself to wear lipstick more often. When I realised that people who meet me out dog walking barely recognise me “in real life” I concluded that I need to make just a smidge more effort before throwing on my wellies and leaving the house at 7am. Whilst the knackered muddy tramp look is perfectly fine, I can aim a little higher. Some days. If I can be bothered and I’m not running late.

But I have started the year with a set of goals for the year. I did my 2017 review and 2018 planning session with myself over the break and decided what’s next and put in place some milestones. I also have selected a word of the year (well, two actually). I like having themes and I really like having things stuck on my office walls that makes it look like I am on top of stuff and a proper person. So, goals, inspirational words and a newly decorated office as I got the urge to paint just before Christmas. That’s a good start to a new year!

So, the alternative dry January? Dry white wine. Dry gin. Dry sherry. Dry martini, with an olive, if you’re fancy. Have it after the gym with a nice kale broth…


Here is my newly decorated workspace. The cat is still the original model!